英文版讀書筆記

　　p52

　　my first quarter at lowood seemed an age and not the golden age either; it comprised an irksome struggle with difficulties habituating myself to new roles and unwonted tasks. the fear of failure in these points harassed me worse than the physical hardships of my lot though these were no trifles. during january february and part of march the deep snows and after their melting the almost impassable roads prevented our stirring beyond the garden walls except to go to church but within these limits we had to pass an hour every day in the open air. our clothing was insufficient to protect us from the severe cold; we had no boots the snow got into our shoes and melted there; our ungloved hands became numbed and covered with chilblains as were our feet. i remember well the distracting irritation i endured from this cause every evening when my feet inflamed and the torture of thrusting the swelled raw and stiff toes into my shies in the morning. then the scanty supply of food was distressing: with the keen appetites of growing children we had scarcely sufficient to keep alive a delicate invalid. from this deficiency of nourishment resulted an abuse which pressed hardly on the younger pupils: whenever the famished great girls had an opportunity whey would coax or menace the little ones out of their portion. many a time i have shared between two claimants the precious morsel of brown bread distributed at teatime and after relinquishing to a third half the contents of m mug of coffee i have swallowed the remainder with an accompaniment of secret tears forced from me by the exigency of hunger.

　　p62

　　‘hush jane! you think too much of the love of human beings you are too impulsive too vehement: the sovereign hand that created your frame and put life into it has provided you with other resources than your feeble self or than creatures feeble as you. besides this earth and besides the race of men there is an invisible world and a kingdom of spirit: that world is round us for it is everywhere; and those spirits watch us for they are commissioned to guard us; and if we were dying in pain and shame if scorn smote us on all sides and hatred crushed us angels see our torture recognize our innocence (if innocent we be: as i know you are of this charge which mr. brocklehurst has weakly and pompously repeated at secondhand from mrs. reed; for i read a sincere nature in your ardent eyes and on your clear front) and god waits only a separation of spirit from flexh to crown us with a full reward. why then should we ever sink overwhelmed with distress when life is so soon over and death is so certain an entrance to happiness—to glory?’

　　p61

　　‘mr. brocklehurst is not a god: not is he even a great and admired man:; he is little liked here; he never took steps to make himself liked. had he treated you as an especial favorite you would have found enemies declared or covert all around you; as it is the greater number would offer ou sympathy if they dared. teachers and pupils may look coldly on you for a day or two but friendly feelings are concealed in their hearts; and if you persevere in doing well these feelings will ere long appear so much the more evidently for the temporary suppression. besides jane --’ she paused.

　　‘well helen?’ said i putting my hand into hers. she chafed my fingers gently to warm them and went in—

　　‘if all the world hated you and believed you wicked while your own conscience approved you and absolved you from guilt you would not be without friends.’

　　p63

　　‘i resolved in the depth of my heart that i would be most moderate—most correct; and having reflected a few minutes in order to arrange coherently what i had to say i told herr all the story of my sad childhood. exhausted by emotion my language was more subdued than it generally was when it developed that sad theme; and mindful of helen’s warnings against the indulgence of resentment i infused into the narrative for less of gall and wormwood thant ordinary. thus restrained and simplified it sounded more credible: i felt as i went on that miss temple fully believed me.’